I had a moment of realisation on Monday morning at 7.30am. I was really tired after a 24 hour round trip to Lancashire on Friday to see my dad and a bit hungover from the weekend.
When I turned up for my Facebook Live session, showered, hair blown dried and makeup on - I confess I felt demotivated when no one showed up.
Then came the narratives:
'How many people actually do this?'
'Is it worth it?'
'How much money do I get from this every month?'
'Maybe I'll tell them to do one on catch up instead.'
'Or maybe miss some difficult poses out, finish a bit early, etc. etc.'
It was then I thought to myself, 'Come on! That's not the point, or is it yoga! This is Ego!'
I reminded myself that the whole point I started 'yogaeverydamnday' back in January 2021, was that I wanted to share a daily journey. A practice. So I decided to put all these narratives to one side and do the familiar, yet challenging Primary Series, as far as possible in 30 minutes. I decided not to miss anything out, nor do any easy versions.
As I started, I just said out loud the Sanskrit for each pose and let it flow. It was the practice leading me. Rather than me, or my mind, leading the practice. A MOVING MEDITATION. I could honestly, literally feel the tension lifting in my body as I focused on each breath and each asana. It was a bit of an epiphany. I reminded myself that this is what it should be - not a performance. Yoga Citta Nirodha. Sutra 1.2 about stopping the fluctuations of the mind.
It took this to make me think, it's not important how many people show up, live or on catch up. It's a journey a few lovely souls have decided to join me on whenever they can. It's a commitment to myself to do 'yogaeverydamnday', regardless. So, again I reminded myself that the daily sessions should be less about instructing individual poses, but more about a regular journey which albeit has a slightly different emphasis each week linked by my reel and classes too. Being present to the journey is a repeated theme I've been sharing from the Bhagavad Gita recently too.
It's also a reminder that it's not about doing this because it's my job, or that I feel like doing certain asana because I can 'perform them', but a commitment to both me and those that practice with my tired, puffy eyed, real self.
This has coincided with a New Moon and Solar Eclipse yesterday which is connected with new starts. Read more here if you're interested https://www.sciencefocus.com/news/hybrid-solar-eclipse-april-2023/
But my 'yogaeverydamnday' is part of my own 'Tapas', the second Niyama about self discipline. Here's another link https://yogapractice.com/yoga/tapas-meaning/
When I filed the class online later I noticed one client message me that she had joined me live a few minutes late and it was her birthday. That made my day!
Namaste
Namaste Vikki Helping us with our daily journey through life, and yoga! xx J