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Being a carer


A few weeks ago I shared some of my story in my 'No Pity' blog.

I hoped that in sharing some of my journey and how my yoga practice has helped might encourage others that often it's from difficult situations that we grow and flourish.


When Mike had his stroke a lot changed. His disabilities and brain injury meant that he struggled with many tasks we all to often take for granted. I'm not going to speak about that here because that's his story.


But a friend who recently lost her husband said it's like going down to twice the workload with half the staff.


This is so true. I'm sure I'm not on my own here having to navigate new technology, manage finances and all that goes with running a household, including children and pets, solo.


You learn a lot about your own principles and the things which are important to you.


One thing I was determined not to do, was to feel like we'd have to give up everything. For me staying close to the things which were important, were vital to all of us. This meant being close to green space. Creating an environment which was user friendly yet close to amenities, in the area we'd chosen to live. I have no regrets about moving here, in fact I wish we'd done this in our first move 18 years ago.


Mike and I were both designers. Having nice quality things was important to us both. (See the last blog). This continues to be an important philosophy with everything in our home life, obviously within budget.


I don't know whether it's largely part of my nature, or the fact that I'm my husbands carer which means I'm not good at prioritising things for myself. This summer it has been difficult planning any time away. There are a lot of factors which make my situation complicated. But I am now even more aware and grateful of those opportunities than ever before. At the end of the day I still feel very lucky. There are so many, so much worse off than us, and it seems the gap between the rich and poor is getting even wider.


What I've realised over the last 8 and half years is that it's the little things in life which really matter. Family celebrations and get togethers. Creating special memories. Quality time with friends. Having little things in your daily life which bring you joy.


For me it's a daily yoga practice. Walking my dogs in the rain or shine. Good quality food. A clean, calm, no clutter home space. Sharing yoga to other lovely like minded souls. Beautiful music. These are a few.


The Bhagavad Gita teaches that we should be present to the journey and do our duty. I believe we're encouraged to apply this to even the most mundane tasks. Like cleaning the bathroom. (I spent nearly 2 hours cleaning the tiles today!) I think this is an important lesson in looking after our possessions. (Something I'm always banging on about with my daughters). A move away from fast fashion, fast food and consumerism generally.


Obviously, everyone needs a release too, whether it's at a great gig, or drinks with friends or a fast paced spin class.


But life is a balance. This is the meaning of yoga. Union or yoking.


After nearly 20 years of practice it's started to really make sense.


Have a lovely weekend.


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